Recently, Nigerian lawmakers have spent their time and presumed legislative acumen, paid for by tax money of a citizenship beleaguered by a current economic crisis, arguing about occurrence of the word ‘gay’ (in its original context, ‘happy’) appearing in a nursery primer book.
Now, as a middle-aged person raised on said primer (that’s how long the book’s been around) and a homeschooling mum, I have plenty of opinions about this display of tomfoolery but this is a Sexual and Reproductive Health awareness platform. We will not engage bad faith actors. I only mention this farce because it puts to mind the many posts and write ups that fly around ever so often, weaving conspiracy theories around the idea of Sex Education, appealing to the reader’s sense of religion or morality.
You must have seen them, the ones about organizations funding degeneracy? About how some unnamed ‘they’ are targeting (insert whatever cultural / religious identity here) kids, making them turn away from the path of righteousness/ their ancestors? Those ones. Often inflaming sentiments without offering actionable alternatives…
Now, I do not dismiss the fact that there are genuine reasons for the reservation people of faith show in engaging mainstream SRH spaces. As a reproductive health physician myself, there are issues within the discipline that I do not necessarily align with, due to my personal faith convictions. But as a mother whose very sheltered 9-year-old looked up once, while reading the Qur’an no less, and asked, ‘what is sexual intercourse?’ I know that refusing to engage sexuality education in totality is not the way forward.
The kids are curious, the information is not that difficult to find, and we — as parents/ guardians, as a community of faithfuls — will only be shooting ourselves and our young people in the foot if we do not actively get involved in what and how they consume this information.
This article is an attempt to address the three main objections that I have come across to the idea of sexuality education, especially in schools, particularly among religious people — with an emphasis on my community of Muslims — and to offer a working alternative.
- SEX ED IS AGAINST OUR RELIGIOUS VALUES
Many religious groups believe sex before marriage is a sin and, in a bid to protect the youth from this sin, some parents think that the only thing children should be taught about sex is abstinence.
On the one hand, this idea reveals a lack of understanding for how comprehensive a sexuality education program should be. As the instruction on issues relating to human sexuality, Sex Ed should teach human sexual anatomy alongside sexual activity and sexual reproduction. It should teach safe sex, birth control and other elements of sexual and reproductive health. It will also teach the emotional relations and responsibilities that come with engaging in sexual activities, as well as social and safeguarding issues like consent, safety and sexual violence and human reproductive rights. Obviously, abstinence-only approaches leave our young woefully unprepared.
Secondly, studies suggest that abstinence-only programmes do not reduce teenage sexual activity but rather leave children uninformed about the risks of engaging in sexual activities (not only of sexually transmitted infections and teen pregnancy but also susceptibility to sexual abuse and violence)
A more value-aligned Sex Ed program should, in fact, teach abstinence especially for children and teens who are not developmentally equipped to handle the responsibility sex brings, no matter what their hormones suggest. It should, however, also cover the “what if”- recognising that premarital sex does happens. Yes, even among those who are raised with religious values.
In this manner, rather than seeing sex ed as inherently anti-religious, our values can be brought into the planning process. Encouraging piety as the bedrock for abstinence, promoting healthy alternatives to channel the energy of hormone-fueled temptations, reminding with compassion of the role of repentance when believers stray are but a few ways we bring into our practice at SRHEd
2. SEX ED LEADS TO PROMISCUITY AND EARLY/ PRE-MARITAL SEX
Some people believe that teaching sex ed will encourage children to explore their sexuality, leading them to have sex earlier (read before marriage) and with different partners, and that speaking about sexual health openly will normalize sexual activity among young people and lead to an increase in teenage pregnancy.
Research suggests the opposite is true.
A study by the Guttmacher Institute found “clear evidence that sexuality education programmes can help young people to delay sexual activity.” and a UNESCO report found that children who are taught a comprehensive sexuality education tend to have “less sex, fewer sexual partners and reduced sexual risk-taking.”
In fact, countries that promote a healthy societal view of sexuality and prioritize sexual health education early and comprehensively typically have the lowest teenage pregnancy rates. Switzerland, for instance, has just 3 teen births per thousand, compared with Nigeria’s 106!
Of course, it is difficult to compare teen pregnancy rates across countries with different norms and cultures around when women give birth due to a variation in factors like the acceptable age for marriage and motherhood, abortion laws, as well as the influence of socio-economic factors like poverty, female empowerment and the role of religion.
However, the available data suggests that of the many factors influencing teen pregnancy, sexual health education appears to be protective against, rather than promoting teen pregnancy.
In any case, the world we live in is already saturated with acts and contents about sex, consensual or otherwise, and the proactive parent should be concerned about if, what and where their children are getting information about sexuality. The key word here is “proactive”. We, as parents and communities of faith, cannot blindly oppose the idea of sexuality education for our kids, hoping that the bubble we build around them will protect them from the many established harm from that lack of knowledge.
3. SEX ED IS THE PARENTS’ RESPONSIBILITY
We agree, to a point. It is the parents’ responsibility to adequately prepare their children for a life of fulfilling sexual and reproductive health. And, ideally, most parents may want to be a key source of Sexual and Reproductive Health information for their children. In reality, however, they often aren’t.
A significant number of young people receive no Sex ed from their parents at all. The few who do, recall vague and uncomfortable conversations that prove to be inadequate as the young people begin to navigate their sexual health journey.
Many parents themselves lack the will and resources to have conversations about sexuality with their growing children, lack of proper information and years of socio-cultural conditioning often working against them. They are therefore content to let sleeping dogs lie and hope that the young ones will figure it out for themselves (“we turned out okay”) or get the information elsewhere. (I have written about the detrimental effect of such an attitude on our marriages, even if the kids manage to maintain their chastity until then.)
Finally, sometimes abuse — sexual abuse, especially — takes place within the family, so it cannot be assumed that home is always a safe place for young people to ask questions relating to sex or sexuality.
THE WAY FORWARD
How, then, should religious parents ensure their children get proper SRH education that aligns with their values?
Instead of a blanket opposition to any idea of Sexual and Reproductive Health education, what if we — as religious parents, families and communities of faith — work with trained Sexuality educators and counselors to provide the proper education and information to them and their young people in a manner that is aligned with the values they hold dear?
Only with the right information can anyone make the right choices, especially for such a crucial part of their lives. To illustrate, with this goal in mind, I started SRHEd, a sexual and reproductive awareness platform in September 2023. Our aim is to provide free SRH education and information, as well as personalized consultation and coaching services to individuals, families and communities of faith in an evidence-based, yet culturally sensitive manner. Targeting adolescents and women, we provide a much needed access to SRH education services in an environment that encourages individuals from religiously conservative backgrounds to safely explore their Sexual and Reproductive Health within the limits of what they believe.
This is our version of a way forward.
Sexual & Reproductive Health 
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